Mindful Motherhood - Move over work/life BALANCE, here comes work/life INTEGRATION

As moms, we face the daily challenges of trying to balance a thriving career, being there for our families, hobbies, and once everyone is happy and everything is done – finally finding time for ourselves. If we don’t pass out on the sofa, that is. Well, I might have something that’ll help you to do LESS – but BETTER. 

In this blog post, we’ll explore what mindful motherhood is, and how you can shift to a work/life integration mindset, if you’re one of the many mums who’s never managed to achieve true work/ life balance. 

Spoiler alert: Work/life integration is a concept that has a lot of positive impacts on corporate mums or those, who can’t just shut the door on their jobs and be fully present with their families or themselves. 

Are you ready to prioritise your happiness and well-being while excelling in your career and motherhood journey AND taking time for yourself? Sounds a bit like we can HAVE IT ALL, right? Well, let’s find out together. 

First, let’s explore what mindful motherhood is.

Mindful Motherhood requires awareness, presence and making conscious choices

Mindful motherhood is an approach that invites us to be present and fully engaged in our roles as mothers and professionals. It’s about cultivating awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and actions, and making intentional choices that align with our values. Mindfulness allows us to savour the little joys, stay focused on the present moment, and release the pressure of perfectionism. So it’s less about planning, worrying, controlling or rushing through the day, and more about paying attention to what’s really important TO US. 

To be more mindful, we first need to embrace imperfection in Motherhood

As working moms, we often feel the weight of societal expectations and the desire to be the “perfect” mother, employee, and partner. However, this comes at a price: the pursuit of perfection can lead to unnecessary stress and guilt. Embracing imperfections allows us to release the burden of unrealistic standards and focus on what truly matters – our love, presence, and genuine efforts in both our personal and professional spheres.

Remember: Perfection is an illusion, and imperfections make us human and relatable

Ok, if you are feeling constantly rushed, feel like the day doesn’t have enough hours, try to keep up that facade of a perfect life… but crumble on the inside and have zero time for yourself, then this might be a game changer for you. 

As working moms, we often find ourselves striving to achieve the elusive work/life balance. However, the concept of balance might not always be feasible, especially when both work and family demands constantly shift. Work/life balance is defined to have work and life co-exist, but one thrives in each separately. That’s how the chamber of commerce puts it. And there is nothing wrong with work/life balance as a way of living – especially if you have a part time role with fixed hours and can shut the door on your job and be fully present with your family. Then you can have that kind of balance. 

However – and this is where our mindsets are invited to be shifted – The issue I found with aiming for such a work/life balance in my case was that I constantly felt torn. Torn between priorities that are put ON ME BY OTHERS ALL THE TIME. Plus – working from home in a corporate job keeps your laptop and your overflowing inbox always somewhat closeby. The temptation of continuing the power point presentation after the kids are in bed, or checking emails whilst getting ready in the morning. The check ins in between or during pick up, the sick child climbing all over you during your conference call. It all ended up making me feel guilty constantly and not being fully present a lot of the time. 

So how is work/life INTEGRATION different to work/ life BALANCE I hear you ask?

The essence of work-life integration is to blend our professional and personal lives in a way that suits our unique circumstances.

To clarify – Blending work and family time doesn’t mean completely mixing the two aspects without any boundaries. Instead, it refers to finding ways to seamlessly integrate your work and family responsibilities while being present and focused on the task at hand. This could involve flexible scheduling, such as working from home on certain days or adjusting your work hours to accommodate family commitments. The goal is to create a fluid rhythm between work and family life so that you can attend to both without feeling overwhelmed.

This mindset shift from BALANCE to INTEGRATION resonates more for me, a corporate mum who mainly works from home. I’m also a single mum, but I guess even if not single, many of you might feel like still bearing the brunt of household chores and family activities. Therefore I’d say this approach of INTEGRATION can be impactful for any kind of working parents who have a job that haunts them outside of usual business hours and career aspirations that actually REQUIRE that kind of flex.

To achieve work-life integration, there are 3 key steps to be considered upfront:

1. BOUNDARIES: Setting clear boundaries between work and family time. There HAS TO BE a shut off time. Integration doesn’t mean LIFE OVERTAKING and all consuming. Yes, you want to blend your work and life in a way to make it more seamless and efficient. You aim to move more fluidly rather than a rigid separation of the two. To be mindful and present rather than intertwining both to a point of frazzled dizziness, though, there have to be clear boundaries making sure to have dedicated time for each one, just not all at once. 

2. PRIORITIES: Prioritising tasks and responsibilities based on importance and urgency. In both life and work we often get side tracked by unnecessary and non-needle moving tasks. Let that non-urgent email sit in your inbox and get comfortable doing so with things that don’t shift the needle for you or your career. As for family, health takes priority, play dates and hobbies take a lesser priority. Don’t sign your kids up for everything…Do they REALLY need to learn the piano at age 3? 😉

3. FLEXIBILITY: Embracing flexibility in both professional and personal commitments. Putting on laundry between calls on your work from home days? Picking up your kids in the afternoon and taking your lunch time walk with them? Figure out the slots that can be merged so you free up more of your evening or use breaks smartly. Flexibility and efficiency can go hand in hand here.

Once you are clear on your boundaries, priorities and where you need flexibility, you can gear into action. That way you make this concept work for you, your lifestyle and your career’s and family’s needs. 

This requires you to plan your days with some structure. Maybe calendar blocks in your daily calendar to give a structured approach to your commitments with allocated slots for focussed work, family, self-care and so on. 

Then you can identify your highest priority tasks for the upcoming week – this way you focus on the tasks that truly matter and move the needle for you, whilst working towards achieving a sense of accomplishments by focussing on what’s important. 

You should then communicate your schedule, your focus time and boundaries or any areas you need help with to your partner, your boss etc. so there is clarity and transparency on when you can deliver projects by or who should take the kids to their appointments this week. 

Lastly, ensure you are present. Whatever you do, be in the moment, in the task and try not to get distracted. This one is the toughest one I find, because there’s always something. A  phone call, an urgent email or the washing machine dragging me out of my focus or not letting me get into it. But it’s work in progress, right. Always remember, we are not striving to be perfect, but we are trying to find our unique way to get sh** done without burning out. 

The key is finding a rhythm that works for you and your unique situation. This is not another chore, but a way to be efficient and effective with your time, your focus and your energy AND maintain your wellbeing at the same time.  

Now, my ask to you is to support other women on their journey, whilst you embark on yours. Together, we can celebrate the wins, overcome challenges, and thrive in our unique roles as mothers and professionals.