The Struggle Is Real - Overcome Challenges Despite Struggles Follow This 4 Step Plan

We all have been there. That big dream, that life-changing goal. That north star we want to get to. And then things get real and challenges stood between us and our dreams.

…the big promotion leaves less time with the family, or the responsibilities are overwhelming. The separation leaves you confronted with your fears of being alone. The move abroad leaves you stranded and uprooted. 

Fear not; this is what happens when we dream big. But sadly, too often, this is also where we give up too easily. When the going gets tough, will you change jobs to somewhere easier, jump into unfulfilling relationships to avoid being alone, move back home, and give up on your dream? Because it wasn’t meant to be, you think? Because the timing wasn’t right, you try to explain to yourself.

Whatever it might be for you. Between wanting something and actually getting there, the road might get rocky. And that might hit us hard in the face when we didn’t expect it when we didn’t think it through or speak to people or seek advice from those who’ve been there and done that. 

After all, you wouldn’t dream of running a marathon and only visualize the finish line – but get surprised if your legs burn and you’d physically struggle halfway through, right?

When I moved to London to do my master’s at the age of 23, I certainly fulfilled a huge life dream. I always saw myself living in London. The big city, speaking English like a native Brit, international friends, and tons of fun. Well, when I first arrived there, I started off living in a flatshare and found myself more lonely than ever. Missing my friends back home, having some lower grades than I’d have expected at essays, needing to polish up my English skills to academic level… Those struggles came somewhat unexpectedly.  

I reached out to a friend to vent and what I got back from her was this, “Why are you complaining, you WANTED this!”. Until recently I thought, how rude of her to say that to an upset friend. I mean of course I wanted to live in London and study, but I didn’t want to feel so lonely and lost. But now I finally understand that she had a point. Of course I didn’t wish for the struggle. But every big dream comes with some struggle and hardship. 

The more we are aware of the struggles ahead, the more we are also capable to keep going, to push through and not give up. 

In hindsight it fills me with pride to say that I didn’t give up. I fulfilled all my London dreams. The travel, the career, the lifelong friendships. My first child, born in London. My ex-husband, a Londoner. I ended up pushing through the struggle, towards my dream and lived in London for over a decade and will be forever tied to that city with my heart. London fulfilled all the dreams I didn’t even dare to say out loud and more – after I pushed through and overcame the struggles. 

Whatever your dream is, you can do the same! 

When I recently listened to the Daily Fire talk of my High-Performance Coach, Brendon Burchard, I finally understood the lessons that were in that struggle and so many other ones. To reach a goal you have to grow to your next level of endurance, self-empowerment and self-discipline. 

Here are 4 steps to help you achieve your dreams whilst embracing the struggle:

1. Anticipation of the demands

Whatever it is you dream of achieving – we often are quite good at visualising that first and the final step, but don’t anticipate the demands in between.

Often the middle part is where you might face obstacles, push back, disappointments, unexpected struggles. The loneliness and broken confidence as a new single. The sore muscles and heavy legs in the middle of running a marathon. The pressure and responsibilities after you got your dream job. 

To avoid the disappointing and disheartening set back, you’ll have to anticipate the demands that might come up on the way towards your goal, and how you could handle them. If you speak to someone, journal about it, read about someone who’s gone through this before you, you might get some valuable insights and learnings. 

Your dream is still there to be achieved, you just have to put in the work! 

2. Don’t let fear stop you. 

When the said struggles hit, we might get scared, overwhelmed and feel like we can’t handle them. Sure, this is a new situation you might have not been in before. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. It just means you have to learn to do it. 

Keep going, keep learning, keep leaning on those who’ve been there. You will handle it, and you keep learning as you’re going. Just don’t stop going. Figure out the obstacles that you never thought you could. Face your fears. Overcome them. Find solutions. Now is the time to rise, upskill, and grow. 

Keep trying, applying, stretching yourself, learning, figuring things out. You’ll need these new skills to live your dream. Do not shy away from effort. 

3. Keep your inner voice positive. 

Working through a tough time can really make you insecure and frustrated. Tune it to your inner voice and hear what she says whenever you have to do something you’d rather avoid. If your inner voice hates the effort, then you’ll allow your brain to avoid that effort. That’ll kill your growth. 

Instead, shift your mindset towards a positive outlook. From, “I hate dealing with annoying employees” or, “I don’t want to be alone” shift to, “I am on the right path and I chose this as a lesson”, or, “I am blessed to do this because it brings me closer to my dream”. 

Learn to enjoy the process, become one with the path you’re on, instead of resenting it and deviating from it. It’s like climbing a mountain; the closer you come to the top the thinner the air and the heavier your legs will be. 

4. Honour the struggle. 

It’s all part of the plan, it’s part of the journey. Without the struggle you wouldn’t have the skills and experience that you need for your goal to be a success. Don’t waste precious time to moan, be frustrated or hate the struggle. Instead, own it, learn from it, seek it. 

Any bad energy, any hating of parts of the process, will slow you down or kill the dream altogether. If you seek a fulfilled life after a breakup, you have to learn to be alone. If you want that bigger job then you have to have the skills. If you want to run the marathon then you’ll have to build up the stamina. 

Once you accept that the shortcuts don’t work and the avoidance doesn’t get you closer to your goal, you will see that the struggle is where the true lessons lie. The empowerment to finally master the one thing that used to scare you or annoy you. The sweetness of overcoming fears and limitations. 

That’s when you know you are really putting in the work on your way to a more beautiful life. The life of your dreams. 

Will you challenge yourself to grow through your next struggle? 

DM me,I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences!