‘Tis the Season for Anxiety… When Relaxing on Vacations Becomes a Struggle, Here’s How to Cope (3 Quick Remedies!)

Going on a sunny vacay somewhere with constant sunshine and hot weather is what most of us dream about all year around. Am I right? Then FINALLY the time comes to pack and plan and get going – and if you thought that’s the stressful part, then brace yourself. 

Why? Because things we didn’t see coming can really derail us. Especially if you are an overachieving, overly perfect planner who packs and plans and anticipates all kinds of things. Fellow overpackers, do you hear me? So that’s why you plan for all possibilities – You got the extra cardigan packed despite the sunny destination, and the mosquito repellent for the family, as well as extra toys and games to avoid any kind of boredom for the kids. If you’re anything like me you always bring your workout gear too – and end up never actually using it during your holidays, but still pack it again next time…

You got the passports ready (cause you checked that 15 times already, right) and you got the car booked, the most pleasant car route checked out on Google Maps… You are good to go. 

One thing you didn’t account for in your careful planning though, are your emotions. Or hormones rather. Stress hormones, to be specific. Going on holidays is a massive step change, a pace change, a routine switch and a complete mindset switch, that only lasts for that holiday time, and therefore it can completely throw you. 

That unexpected anxiety that arises when we leave our known tracks, our familiar routines and our daily habits.

I’ve recently gone on a 2 week trip with my daughter and maneuvered myself straight into a panic on day 2. I was literally so flustered and unable to relax, that I thought it would make most sense to immediately go back home… I even looked up flights. Literally, instead of enjoying my beach vacation I was in pieces about the huge mistake I made leaving behind my responsibilities and my family and going on this trip to do what? RELAX?? I posted about this on my instagram story, @feed_slay_love, and the responses were all pointing to the same direction: If you cannot relax during your vacation, this may be an indicator of burnout. So I looked into it and, well, it seems I’m not the only one experiencing this.

I thought it’s very timely now, at the beginning of the holiday season, to discuss the topic of holiday anxiety – and what you can do if this happens to you. And to be clear, if you’re the type who can’t relax during your evenings off, or on weekends, either, then this is for you too.

Let’s get into it.

Firstly – if you are finding it difficult to relax during vacation and – like me – find yourself looking for flights home on day 2 of 15 this can potentially be a sign of burnout. 

I like to start with a definition – and I know we all know somewhat of what burnout is, but let’s get onto the same page here. 

Burnout is a state of chronic stress that is characterised by different kinds of exhaustion, for example physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. 

If you experience prolonged periods of high stress, excessive workload, or if you are feeling overwhelmed by work and personal responsibilities, chances are that you have an early onset of burnout. Now I’m not a healthcare professional so I cannot obviously diagnose you – let’s leave that to the professionals.

All I can say from afar is that if you’re experiencing burnout, it can affect your ability to unwind and enjoy time off. So during your weekends or vacations you might feel restless, anxious, and unable to fully disconnect from your responsibilities back home, like work or family-related thoughts and responsibilities. 

Since I experienced this too, what really resonated for me was, that if you experience burnout, you actually crave some sort of familiarity and routine to give you a sense of control and comfort. So I put together the 3 key factors that can flag that you are overdoing it in one or several areas of your life:

You aren’t adventurous anymore.

The change of routine and environment on a vacation really makes you uncomfortable and anxious even, so you’d rather head back than deal with the uncertainty or the unknown. When you crave familiarity and routine more than being curious and adventurous, that might be early signs of overwhelm that can eventually lead to burnout. You know, it’s really worth paying attention to those reactions rather than putting them off as “I’m just getting old”.

You can’t switch off from your responsibilities.

Really listen to your body and emotions here. If you consistently find it challenging to relax during weekends away or vacations and have a strong desire to go home, it might be beneficial to assess your overall well-being and work-life balance. 

Low libido over prolonged time

Researchers have actually found that it’s not only to do with middle age (around the 40 mark) or hormones or partnership related issues. But actually the number one factor that leads to a dry spell in your sex life is constant exhaustion. If we are overwhelmed, beaten and knackered from our day to day life over a looooong period of time, then why would we want to have sex, right? Kind of makes sense, but that doesn’t make it right, does it?

If you experience one or more of the above it might be really worthwhile getting some professional help. Better start dealing with it now head on – this is not weakness, this is a sign that you’ve been trying to be strong for too long my friend. You deserve all the help you can get, please take this seriously. This is an act of self love.

Remember, burnout is a serious condition that requires attention and self-care. Taking proactive steps to address burnout can lead to improved overall well-being and a healthier work-life balance.

OK, now we established the indicators for our potential burnout, but we still are on that holiday so we need to figure out a way to help ourselves and make this vacation bearable, if not enjoyable, for us and the family. Let’s gear into action. 

So you got there, to that dreamy destination, but you get overwhelmed with all the unknown and instead of seeking out the adventure you want to fly back home immediately. 

Now, what can we do to actually counteract this overwhelming feeling of wanting to head home? How can we manage to embrace the unknown a little and enjoy this much needed and well deserved vacay??

Relaxing during vacation can be challenging for many people, including us working mums, due to many reasons. I’m going into more detail here on my blog post this week, so make sure to check it out at catherinenuss.com. On this podcast I’ll just briefly discuss the 3 most common factors that make it hard for us to relax – and how to shift them to a more healthy and relaxing, self loving behaviour.

Let’s go through 3 common factors that make it difficult to unwind during vacations, along with three remedies to deal with anxiety and stress in those situations:

Shift from disconnection issues to setting clear boundaries.

Many working mums find it challenging to disconnect from family or work-related responsibilities and obligations, even during vacation time. The constant accessibility through technology and the fear of missing out or falling behind can create a sense of anxiety and prevent relaxation.

Remedy: Set Clear Boundaries! Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life. Communicate with colleagues and clients about your vacation and let them know your availability. Consider disabling work-related notifications on your devices or designating specific times to check and respond to emails, allowing you to fully engage in vacation activities without interruptions. If you don’t get constantly reminded about projects back home you can actually disconnect and refresh your brain properly.

Shift from overloaded schedules to dedicated downtime.

Are you an over-organiser trying to pack in as much sight-seeing and beach hopping as possible to make the most of your time off? This kind of busy schedule can actually make you more stressed rather than allowing you to relax, forget about the time and connect to your body again.

Remedy: Plan for Downtime! Ensure your vacation schedule includes dedicated downtime for relaxation and self-care. Allow for flexibility and prioritise activities that bring you joy and help you recharge. Holidays are all about finding that balance between exploring new experiences and taking time to unwind without feeling rushed.

Shift from mental overload and guilt to more mindfulness

Working mums often carry the mental load of managing both work and family responsibilities. During vacations, this mental load can persist, causing guilt and anxiety about neglecting either aspect.

Remedy: Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion! Try to be more mindful and present during your vacation. For example, you could practise breathing techniques by the beach, take some time for meditation or journaling or book in a massage or sound therapy. Taking time off for self-care is crucial for your well-being, and it ultimately benefits both you and your loved ones.

I hope this gives you some food for thought to experiment and find what works best for you. Either way – if stress and anxiety persist or become overwhelming, seeking support from a mental health professional can provide additional guidance and coping strategies.

 A quote that really stuck with me recently was,

“To venture can cause anxiety, but not to venture can cause you to lose yourself.”

Without adding any pressure if you’re exhausted and just not up for travelling, I do believe we have to leave our known tracks every now and then – not just to switch things up, but also to get to know ourselves a bit better. Whether on vacations or in our everyday lives, I hope you can bring yourself to venture out a little bit, every now and then.