Why Is It So Hard To Let Go Sometimes - Use Meditation To Gain Perspective

Have you ever tried mantra meditation? Her is my experience with the “Release” meditation by High Performance Coach Brendan Burchard.

As I’m writing this I feel like a gentle wave of reality has washed over me. It’s my first time trying out the “Release” meditation by Brendon Burchard, which is a mantra based meditation with the mantra (guess what!) “release” repeated rhythmically – either vocally or in your head. 

Now I’ve been meditating more or less regularly for a decade or so, mostly breathing meditations following a yoga practice and in the past few years guided by the various courses on the Headspace app. It’s helped me to relax, to listen to my body more, to wind down and yes, to fall asleep as well as I mostly meditate in bed in the evenings.

Doing meditation during the day in an upright position wasn’t necessarily something I’ve done a lot. Somehow I always assumed I’d be tired after meditation which is of course linked to my bedtime meditation habit rather than to reality. A good meditation should leave you relaxed and refreshed, mentally sharper and more present, more focussed. 

The moment before letting go is often when we grip the hardest.

My experience during the meditation was intense – in a positive way – to say the least. Meditation allows us to dive into a deeper layer of the unconscious. Where the conscious mind doesn’t (want to) go. 

First I feel the pace of the repetition of the mantra is a bit fast, which doesn’t align with my breathing but I guess that’s my habit of breathing meditation trying to creep in. I let go of the breathing rhythm I default to and rather go with the flow. I feel my upper body and head kind of move with or nod with the rhythm of the mantra which is a really comfortable and energising feeling immediately. It’s like an energy vibration in my body. 

With my eyes closed I keep releasing the thoughts that come to mind – about an upcoming meeting with my new boss at work, conversations I had before the meditation with my family on our Whatsapp chat group, my emotional morning with my daughter who didn’t want to let go of me this morning at drop off. Then some more things pop in from this week. Friends I have been trying to distance myself from, who have been showing me again and again that they don’t value me or care about me as much as I do.

Somehow I feel like the energy vibration is going right into a lot of pain points. 

A lot of topics I am holding on to, that I can’t resolve – at least not immediately – and that I am just not releasing. It feels dark around me although it’s daytime and I’m at my desk with headphones in. I notice my head keeps lowering down, I keep trying to go back to “release, release, release,…”. Then my head suddenly lifts itself up, still eyes closed, it feels like I can see a sunrise, a light behind the darkness breaking through. I feel a really positive energy. Something is telling me,  “we’ve got you”, “we are here for you”, “you got this”, “you’re doing fine”. I start sobbing. It feels like a grandparents’ kind of loving supportive energy that is reassuring me, allowing me to release the pain of all the commitments and responsibilities and fears and worries. 

There’s a shift in perspective – the worries I’ve been carrying around with me are becoming conscious and I feel a sense of detachment. I have let go and released so many things in the past. Recently I subconsciously felt the need to hold onto everything for dear life. I’ve changed jobs, I’ve moved countries, I’ve separated, I’ve moved homes and I’m co-parenting. As part of the latter I also had to somewhat let go of control. Of seeing my daughter every day. Of the dream of a big family. 

The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.

Even if it feels impossible to imagine sometimes, but there is nothing we cannot “release” in life. Let things go, see them for what they are, allow them to be, accept them. 

A new perspective emerged. What if. What if I let go of control a little. What if I enjoy me- time whilst my daughter is at her dad’s. What if I let go of old friendships? What if I enter this phase in my life where I live on my own terms? What if I am grateful for the lovely friends and support I have all around? WHAT IF I allow myself to release my fears and limiting thoughts in order to invite more energy, vision and joy into my life?

Really, what’s the worst that can happen? If I let things happen, I let situations arrive, I allow things to develop. Firstly, things rarely end up as badly as they seem in our heads, right? And secondly, there is still plenty of time to deal with a situation, even an uncomfortable one, once it arrives. 

The effect of this first experience need to be kept up – a 10 day meditation challenge sounds doable and exciting. Probably it won’t be as emotional each time, but clearly there was a lot of stuff built up I needed to release. There surely will be more. It’s been emotional but I don’t feel exhausted. I feel rather energised, cleared up and inspired after this 20 minutes sitting meditation.

Join me for the 10 day challenge to do this meditation once a day. Find it on YouTube here and DM me, I’m super keen to hear about your experience.